I Need To Hear You Say
by x.Mayhem.x
Summary: Relationships are hard for a normal couple. But add to the mix two very busy road schedules... it gets that much harder.


**A/N:** I wasn't going to finish writing this for personal reasons. But then I had ideas and thought that I might as well share this with the FF.N world.

Sorry (you know who you are...)

_**Lyrics**_ from Nickelback's "Far Away".

-

_**This time, this place  
Misused, mistakes  
Too long, too late  
Who was I to make you wait?**_

"_C'mon, just a bit further..." he coaxed, almost patronizingly._

"_Phillip Jack Brooks, if you get me killed, I swear I'm coming back to get you in your sleep." She threatened, glaring at him from behind her eye cover._

"_Alright, you can take it off now."_

"_Finally." She snapped, ripping the thing from her head. As soon as she saw where she was standing, she let out an excited squeal, jumping into her boyfriend's arms. _

"_I take it you like it." He laughed, wrapping his own arms around the excited woman._

"_I love it! Oh my God, I never thought that you'd agree to this place!"_

_Phil lightly kissed her head, smiling at her. "Well, you needed a room for your equipment and my apartment just wasn't cutting it."_

_Grabbing the back of his head, she brought him down to her level and gave a deeply passionate kiss. When they pulled apart, both were smiling and trying to catch their breath._

"_How about we go in and take a look around?" Phil suggested, unlocking the door and swinging it open._

Rynne looked up at the door as she approached it, wheeling her suitcase behind her. That day was one of the things she'd never forget, yet it loomed over her hauntingly now.

It had been during the beginning of F4's "Rock Star Riots" tour when Phil Brooks, better known as WWE's CM Punk, had surprised her with the townhouse. She had seen pictures of it beforehand; he had sent them to her cell while she was away. But never did she suspect that he had full intentions of actually going through with getting it.

The feeling of joy that had overwhelmed her when she had walked through the door all those months ago were replaced by an emptiness in the pit of her stomach as she entered now. Silence hung thick in the air as she moved her suitcase against the wall, closing the front door behind her.

"Phil?" she called out, entering further into the house. "Punker, are you here?"

Despite the fact that it was Thursday evening, with a Raw house show taking place the following night, Rynne had hoped that he had waited until later that night to leave. She muttered to herself about freak snowstorms, entering into the kitchen to find a note attached to the fridge. With a sigh, Rynne took it down, crumpling it up and tossing it across the room.

They were always the same. Missing each other on the way in and out, not being able to wait longer for the other...

A few tears slid down her cheeks, causing the drummer to wipe stubbornly at them.

"I had the choice after WrestleMania. We all had that choice." She sighed, opening cupboards to see what there was for food. "But we all wanted to continue on. New, revitalized, ready to do what we do best. None of us wanted it to end on the grandest stage of it all..."

_**Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left**_

_The five of them looked around the F4 locker room for what was to be the last time. Nobody wanted to believe that this was ending, but there was no denying that this was it._

_That once they left this room in the Reliant Center, that would be it._

_No more rock star valets._

_No more storylines._

_No more WWE._

"_I can't believe it's over." KB sighed, leaning further into Jeff's embrace._

_The others nodded their agreement, the same downcast expression written across their faces._

"_At least you guys got more time here." Missy stated, trying to smile. Her hands were in her back pockets as she rocked back and forth on her heels. "I get brought back here to play this gig, as well as a few appearances."_

_There was a knock at the door before Stephanie and Shane McMahon entered the room. Steph was smiling softly as she approached Tina._

"_Your girls were wonderful additions to this company." She started, attempting to catch the eyes of each member of F4. "I'm glad that we were able to work with each other over the past couple of months."_

_While Steph carried on with her little spiel, Punk wrapped his hand around Rynne's and lead her towards the washroom. He shut the door behind them, locking it for further measure. _

"_So, this is it."_

_Rynne nodded, heaving a sigh and running her fingers through her hair. "I can't believe that once we leave the arena, we're going to be parting ways."_

_Carefully, he tilted her chin up so that they were eye to eye with each other, his little smirk of a smile in place. _

"_I know I'm cutting this awfully close, but I want to do this before I lose my chance..."_

_**'Cause you know,  
you know, you know...**_

_**That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long**_

_**I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore**_

"You seem out of it, Punk."

The Chicago native looked up to see Chris Jericho take a seat across from him in the hotel's bar area. A small smile crept across his face as he shook his head.

"Just thinking." He replied, grabbing his bottle of Pepsi from the middle of the table.

Chris smirked, clasping his hands behind his head. "That's a dangerous pastime."

"I know." Punk laughed. "But I can't help but to think I should have waited to see her, you know? It has been a few months..."

"I can't say that I know how you feel. Ever since Tina had the baby, I know that she'll be there when I get back." Jericho said, shooting Punk a sympathetic look. "But hey, that's why they invented emails and telephones, right?"

Punk gave a small shrug. "I guess. Not the same, but it's better than nothing."

There was a long pause of silence, Jericho leaning back with his eyes closed while Phil busied himself by playing with his now empty Pepsi bottle. His eyes were unfocused as he thought back to the period after Wrestlemania. After he had told Rynne that he loved her.

Of course, by the following week, the entire roster knew. Many were pleasant about it, but there was one encounter he couldn't forget. Not after how things had happened between the Rumble and Wrestlemania...

"_There's several reasons why you don't want to get involved with her. Believe me. Rock stars are not relationship material; friend or otherwise." She stated, rather full of herself._

He couldn't help but snarl out loud at the thought. At the nerve that the Diva had.

But he hadn't paid it any attention...

_It was a Tuesday night when he returned home after a weekend of house shows and the Raw Live event. And he wasn't leaving until early Friday morning for the next set of shows._

_**On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand**_

"_You know, deejaying at a night club does not help your straight edge chi, you know that?"_

_Both Punk and Rynne were seated in the DJ booth at the Ontourage Night Club in Chicago. The F4 drummer was playing her own beats and mixes: a hobby she enjoyed in her time off from touring._

"_Oh relax, __**groupie**__." She teased, switching the song from 'SexyBack' to 'Rockstar'. "As long as I know and you know that I'm drinking Pepsi – Besides, you're here too."_

_He went to argue further, only to shut his mouth. As much as he hated it, Rynne had a point. So he did the next best thing._

"_Do you have to play these guys? They are everything wrong with music today." He complained, scrunching up his face at the sound of Nickelback._

"_Get out of my booth."_

_He looked over to find the brunette glaring daggers at him, her arms crossed haughtily over her chest. "But... what?"_

"_You do not criticize my taste in music while I am deejaying."_

"_I was-"_

"_I don't care if you were joking, kidding or fooling around. I want you out of my booth until you can have the decency to not insult my tastes, whatever they may be."_

_Without saying a word, he left the booth, pushing through the crowd to get to the bar. Taking a seat on a stool, he leaned his back against it, watching as his girlfriend kept with her music. There was that stab of guilt in the pit of his stomach, and the longer he watched, the worse he felt. It only escalated when her voice came over the speaker system, her gaze intently focused on him._

"_All the single ladies out there, sing it with me!" The song abruptly switched to a remixed version of 'I Don't Need A Man', causing the bartender behind Punk to laugh._

"_Feisty little thing, ain't she?" he laughed, shaking his head._

"_You have no idea." Punk muttered, before he smirked. "You guys aren't Coke suppliers, are you?"_

_-_

_He placed the bottle of Pepsi in front of Rynne before crossing his arms and smiling. _

"_It'll take more than one bottle of Pepsi to make up for you being an ass." She stated coldly, not even looking at him._

"_Well, I'm out of lilies and teddy bears, so I guess I'll have to ask for a dance."_

_This at least got her laughing. "You? Dance? That's hilarious."_

"_I'm serious." He stated, crouching down beside her. "I'd dance as long as it takes for you to stop being mad at me."_

_One look was all it took for her to see how serious he was before relenting. "Fine. As long as I get to choose the song..."_

"_Fine by me." He replied, standing up straight and holding out his hand._

_**I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up**_

"Anybody in there?"

"Huh?" Phil looked up, nearly getting poked in the eye as he did so. "What the Hell, man?"

Jericho laughed, lowering his arm. "You looked like some love-sick puppy. Besides, you weren't answering me."

Punk rubbed the back of his neck, laughing nervously. "Must've started daydreaming."

"Must have. But like I was asking before, do you want another Pepsi?" Chris asked, half out of his seat.

For a moment, he considered saying 'yes'. Despite the cocky and arrogant attitude he had in the ring, Chris was a great guy outside of it and Punk enjoyed his company.

"No thanks." He replied, shaking his head and getting up. "I think I'm just going to head back up to my room and try get some sleep."

"Good idea. I'll catch you around."

Phil gave a two fingered wave before turning and headed out of the bar. He was nowhere near tired, but there was too much on his mind for him to be good company.

'I wor- we worked too hard on this to let it fall apart. Not like this anyway.' Punk thought, pounding the up arrow for the elevators. 'And there's no way either of us are going to ask the other to give up doing what they love doing for the other.'

The doors opened in front of him, completely void of occupancy. Stepping in, he hit the button for his floor before leaning against the wall, eyes closed and fingers threaded in his hair.

'But maybe I can make a small sacrifice for her...'

'_**Cause you know,**_

_**You know, you know...**_

_**That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore**_

Rynne laid in the queen-sized bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was well past one in the morning, and despite how exhausted she felt, she just couldn't relax enough to sleep. By Monday, she was gone again for the European leg of the tour and would be away for a month before returning. Finally, just laying there got to be too much for her.

Pushing off the blankets and swinging her legs out of bed, she grabbed her laptop from its place on the desk and walked down to the living room, turning a few lights on as she went. The television got turned on as she waited for the laptop to load. Disinterestedly, she flipped aimlessly through the channels until she landed on Fuse.

"Good enough." She muttered, tossing the remote beside her and making herself comfortable, computer resting on her lap.

Signing into her Yahoo account, she noticed that Missy was online. Sure enough, within a few seconds, a conversation window was flashing orange on the taskbar.

**toxic_twinny:** _Hey hey!_

**toxic_twinny:** _What are you doing up so late?_

**lilmiss: **_MISTLETOE_

**lilmiss:** _same thing you are._

**toxic_twinny: **_You're surfing the web for sex toys and fluffy handcuffs?_

Rynne hit her forehead with the palm of her hand, sighing. 'Only Missy...' she thought, before typing her response.

**lilmiss: **_I'm not even going to ask_

**lilmiss:** _and no, I can't sleep_

**lilmiss:** _my mind is restless_

**toxic_twinny: **_You could always trying writing out your feelings in song. *shrugs*_

**toxic_twinny:** _that usually helps me._

**lilmiss:** _That's a good idea_

**lilmiss: **_thanks Missy_

**toxic_twinny:** _Anytime. ^-^_

After typing her 'bye', Rynne signed off and flipped the laptop closed, not bothering to power it down. Placing it on the coffee table, she wandered back upstairs to the room where all her equipment was stored.

-

She sat cross-legged, her back against the wall with her eyes closed and just feeling the music as she strummed her acoustic.

"It's like a morphine trip, a slow and ever steady drip, nothing but a swirl of colours; I think I'm addicted to you. Won't you be my drug, the habit that's so hard to shrug, I need you in life supply because I know I can never get over you..."

Rynne opened her eyes, shifting the guitar so she could write the lyrics and chords down. Putting the notebook back beside her, she went back to work on the song.

"The sound of your voice gets me high, and coming down just makes me cry, feeling vulnerable so deep inside; constantly waiting for my next dose of you. The sweet taste of your lips, your hands resting on my hips, numbing both my body and mind; something nobody else could ever do. It's the distance in between that's keeping me sober and clean, but uncomfortable in my own skin..."

Rynne sat there, plucking the same chords as she tried thinking of how to continue with the song. Finding herself stumped, she wrote down what she had before setting aside her guitar to go get her phone.

'Maybe Missy can give some direction.' She thought, grabbing the phone from the night stand in the bedroom and bringing it back to the other room.

Sitting back down, she brought the guitar back to her lap and placed the notebook in front of her. The phone was placed beside it, ready to record. With confidence, she played what she had before stopping the recording.

"There we go." She smiled, saving it before scrolling through her contacts to find Missy's name. Typing a quick text message, she forwarded the video before getting back to her feet, walking to her room and falling into bed.

It didn't take long for sleep to finally claim her.

-

"Wow, that's really good." Matt Hardy sat in his hotel room that he was sharing with Jeff, phone in hand.

"What is?" Jeff asked, looking over his brother's shoulder.

Matt rolled his eyes, turning up the volume before replaying the video. The sound was amazingly clear for the minute and a half duration. When it ended, Matt closed the phone without turning it off.

"That was pretty good." Jeff replied, snatching the phone away and opening it back up. "Who was that?"

Matt unsuccessfully tried getting the phone back as Jeff put distance between the two, using his bed as a buffer.

"Dude, Robin wrote you a song?" Then Jeff noticed something, smirking. "This isn't even your phone, is it?"

"It doesn't matter whose it is, but you need to give it back right now." Matt made a lunge for Jeff, only to fall short.

The smirk on Jeff's face grew to a grin as he started pressing buttons. "Phil needs to hear this. He'll love it."

With a groan, the elder Hardy placed his head in his hands, wishing that his girlfriend wasn't so absentminded.

_**So far away (so far away)**_

_**Been far away for far too long**_

_**So far away (so far away)**_

_**Been far away for far too long**_

_**But you know, you know, you know...**_

Rynne made her way over to where Missy was seated on their private jet, taking up a seat beside her. "Hola."

"Hey hey." Missy replied, taking the earbuds out and facing Rynne. "What's up?"

"I wanted to know how the song was coming along. You never responded to any of my text messages that I sent you."

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "What song?"

"You know... the one you suggested I write to help relax me?"

"Oh my God, you wrote a song?! Can I hear it?" Missy asked, catching the attention of the rest of the band.

"You should have already heard it. I got stuck and sent it to you for ideas."

Missy shook her head slowly, before her eyes went wide. "Oops."

"Ha ha, Missy had a blonde moment." KB laughed from her spot, putting aside her laptop.

Crossing her arms, the drummer glared daggers at the lead singer. Her tone was icy when she spoke. "What did you do this time?"

"I might have... accidently... kinda... left my phone... with Matt." Missy confessed, finally meeting Rynne's gaze.

"YOU DID WHAT?"

Everybody cringed at the sound, Leesie moving over closer to Rynne and Missy.

"I'm sure it was an accident." Leesie smiled sweetly, trying to brighten the situation. "Besides, what's the harm done?"

Rynne said nothing more as she got up, isolating herself on the other side of the plane. She pulled out her own iPod, placing the buds in her ears and turning the music up loud enough to block out all other sounds. Except for the sound of her thoughts.

'Maybe the rock star life isn't for us.' She thought, looking over to the rest of her band. 'Sure, it's wonderful getting recognized for what we do, but there's too much strain on the others in our lives. Our boyfriends rarely ever get to see us. Kay never really gets to see her family either. And our songs... so many of them are about our loved ones, or how we feel towards them, or how much we miss them. Maybe... maybe after this, this'll be it.'

As much as she hated how it sounded, she couldn't think of any other way for them to be with the ones they loved.

_**I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say...**_

The tour was a whirlwind for the band, and by the time they were playing in Montpellier, France, they were all exhausted and moody from playing show after show after show.

It was after this particular show that when they went back to their dressing room, Rynne dropped the bomb.

"I'm thinking of leaving the band."

"What?!" Three similar mortified expressions crossed the faces of Leesie, Missy and KB.

Rynne just shrugged. "I can't do this anymore, guys. It's getting harder and harder to leave home and be away for weeks at a time."

"So we'll take a break." KB threw out quickly. "Anything but you leaving the band."

"Yeah, and if I take a break, there's a very slim chance of me wanting to return. So let's avoid the break crap and let me just leave. Please?"

"And to think, I drove fifty minutes just to hear my baby say she quits doing what she loves."

_**That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long**_

Rynne turned to see Phil standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed and a playful smirk gracing his face.

"That doesn't seem much like the woman I know and fell in love with."

_**So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore**_

Getting up from her chair, she ran over to him, throwing her arms around his torso. A big grin was plastered on her face as she relished the feel of being in his arms.

"I can't believe you're here! What are you doing here? How –"

Punk cut her off with a heated kiss, accompanied by a chorus of "Awww".

_**Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go**_

He pulled back ever so slightly, resting his forehead against Rynne's. "We're doing house shows just up the road in Nîmes, and I had heard you were playing here. So I thought I'd surprise you."

The smile widened as she kissed him again, also to the chorus of "Awww". This time though, she flashed them the bird, still kissing her boyfriend.

"So you drove all this way to see me?" she asked, after pulling away.

_**Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore**_

He nodded, running his fingers through her hair. "Of course. So tell me, why do you want to quit?"

"It's... hard." She sighed, lowering her eyes. "We're barely together anymore, and it's killing me inside."

_**Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go**_

"It kills me too. But we love what we do, and to quit doing it would hurt even more." He pulled her closer, smiling. "As long as we have each other, it doesn't matter how far we are, or how long we're away. Because I love you, and as long as we have that, it doesn't matter where we are."

_**Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go**_

"Awww." Leesie, KB and Missy sighed. "Punker and Rynne, sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G..."

Rynne shook her head, rolling her eyes and giggling at her friends. Because at that moment, what they were saying didn't matter; how they were acting wasn't important.

All that she cared about was the guy who was holding her and the love that she had for him.

_**  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go**_


End file.
